sometimes i can't help myself from thinking,

was it a right decision to make?

i might as well pull out and back off,

not concerning about anything which i am NOT SUPPOSED to be concerning in this position.

i am not anyone to say anything on any matter. i know. and i should have knew it earlier.

the moment i chose to be the one outside the circle and not the other way round,

i knew i would face this situation anyhow later.

sometimes i can't help myself from thinking,

how will the situation be?

if it was a different decision made,

and that different decision actually put me in a different position from where i am now,

where i will be right opposite the river with all of you.

being one of the crowd in the opposite side?

what a thing to be imagined.

of course,

pros and cons,

give and take,

again.

perhaps,

i shall stop struggling the nonsense,

as those nonsenses have been a fact which couldn't be changed anymore.

as i didn't intend to see any changes anyway.

yes, i shall cherish the pros and take that i am able to earn from here.

and not the other way round.

live my own way to the max. even in a world and environment that i couldn't take much control on it. i swear i will. find my own space.

kaiwei :)

the last thing and the only thing that i will never hope to see

is the mask that you NEED to put on when speaking with me

please, i am begging hard. to you, you and you.

stay with me, be with me,

as a friend. and just friend.

can we?