lost in the mist

there are times

when i am lost

when i am indecisive on which direction should i go next

when i am doubtful on myself

when i am feeling so lonely on the route of making things work

at these times

i feel like i am going to collapse

i feel like the whole world is turning their back to me

i feel like no one is going to hear my cry

i feel like no one is going to see my tears

and i feel like giving up is the best results i can opt to

then i know,

maybe things are not so right anymore.

i should take a halt, a break and a deep breathing in

i should clear my mind, my soul and my heart

and perhaps throw myself some questions that drill back down to the root

"why am i here at the very first place?"

"who am i to be here at the very first place?"

"what am i going to achieve being here at the very first place?"

i ponder, ponder and i am still pondering...

being in this position, carrying this heavy burden on my shoulder,

what are the values that i am able to create for myself, the committees, the juniors and of course the event itself?

and most importantly, how should i follow closely to continuously add values to these people throughout my planning?

yes, people learn and grow from every falls.

but before i put myself in the steep route which is of high risk to falling

shall i ensure myself are well prepared with all equipment to hold the pain of falling?

so that after every falls, i am always ready to keep moving forward from the point of falling instead of going back to the starting point and start all over again.

yes, i shall get myself ready.

and if it is not now, when else can it be?

perhaps today i am lost in the mist,

and the days before today i was lost in the mist too

but after today,

i will try to find my way out.

and i am sure i will be able to find my way out.

this is a promise to you,

and to myself.

cheers,

kaiwei :)