因为珍贵，所以珍惜

有一种微笑，叫会心一笑

微笑的背后，

有的是了解、懂得、和心与心的零距离

有一种友情，是因为失去，所以获得

失去的是无法厮守的爱情

获得的是懂得自己的知己

这种微笑，这种友情

因为珍贵，所以珍惜

微 :)

给亲爱的你

我又搞砸了对吧

其实我更怕有一天你会说

你也不想努力了

for myself. and for you.

if you don't know the values and rules of the people with whom you share a relationship, you should prepare for pain.

in reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

make your relationships one of the highest priorities in your life.

find our what is the most important thing to you and  your partner in your relationship. what are your highest values in a relationship together.

in a relationship, it is more important to be in love than to be right.
in a relationship, it is more important to be in love than to be right.
in a relationship, it is more important to be in love than to be right.

repeat this several times so that i can remember, in a relationship, it is more important to be in love than to be right. after all, that is the only reason i can use to keep myself going. to keep trying and trying. to not give up when i think it is not right although i am in love. 

yes, keep trying. 


kaiwei

学会爱，超越爱

书说，男生要学会爱，女生要超越爱。说得好啊，可是要真正改进时却发现原来好难。别人都会因时间和经历而变得更懂得如何去爱，为什么唯独我，不进反而似乎不停地往后退呢...

郁闷。
没办法，只能继续努力呗。

why am i always the one who is not understanding enough.

说不出没关系

原来
对你来说
我依然是那么的微不足道

虽然不想刻意比较
可是依然不禁发现
为什么
你的时间永远只得空留给他们

对我
多年来
都有很多我不能理解也不能辩解的理由
说你不得空

一直以为
这么多年了
我至少在你心中还是重要的
你至少对我还是有一定程度的了解

今天发现
原来事实并非如此

这一次
我可以像从前的每一次一样
都说没关系吗？
我想
我说服不到自己
再一次对你说出这说不出的没关系

微 :(

i am sorry i mess it up again

习惯了被人疼
习惯了被呵护
习惯了被忍让
习惯了被迁就
习惯了接受多于付出

竟然忘了
没有人有义务一直这样迎合着我
没有人有责任一直这样穷追不舍
没有人“应该”为我做任何事情

微

things get better with a change of mind.
but how long will this change remain good, i can't tell.
let's just wait and see.
and keep my faith on it.

kaiwei :)

不能尽心爱好一个人，便只能马虎应付两个人，或者更多擦身而过的路人，爱将永远没有着落。

我怀念的

是曾经对你

那份坚持 

那份肯定

那份相信

那份奋不顾身

那份毫不犹豫

可不可以

让我重新聆听自己

微

下一个天亮

郭静 -下一个天亮
曲:陈小霞 词:姚若龙
Produced By制作：陈俊廷
Arrangement编曲：洪敬尧/谢明祥


用起伏的背影 挡住哭泣的心
有些故事 不必说给 每个人听
许多眼睛 看的太浅太近
错过我没被看见 那个自己

用简单的言语 解开超载的心
有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听
你的热泪 比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力 更有勇气

等下一个天亮 去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂

等下一个天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光


用简单的言语 解开超载的心
有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听
你的热泪 比我激动怜惜
我发誓要更努力 更有勇气

等下一个天亮 去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂

等下一个天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

时间可以磨去我的棱角
有些坚持却永远磨不掉
请容许我 小小的骄傲
因为有你这样的依靠

等下一个天亮 去上次牵手赏花那里散步好吗
有些积雪会自己融化
你的肩膀是我豁达的天堂
等下一个天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好吗
我喜欢我飞舞的头发
和飘着雨还是眺望的眼光

这首歌

这么多年来 觉得最贴切的 是那永远磨不掉的坚持

今天晚上在回家的路上再次听到这首歌

发现可以用另一种心境去听解歌词

撼动我心的 是你我的积雪 能否会自己融化

对他的坚持

永远磨不掉

与你的积雪

有天会自己融化吗？

等下一个天亮

我能重拾曾经那自信眺望的眼光吗?

微 

其实

有时很害怕

害怕得我想逃避

害怕得我想歇斯底里

Bad bad bad bad bad...

What a mess :(

My life is a mess. Yes, real mess. Everything just seems to be out of control recently that I don't know how to handle them anymore. Godness please I need a break down. A huge break down in tears for i dont know what the heck is happening. Arghh.. Kaiwei :(

disappointment

sometimes i can't help to ponder, 

am i that lousy in your mind that i am always making incorrect judgment and decision? 

if i am that bad in sense of direction, how do you think i can survive on the roads after so many years? 

if i am that bad in common sense, how do you think i can handle my life independently when i am staying out? 

if i am that bad in making decision, how do you think i can stand as a leader in the team of 50 other excellent people?

if i am that bad in making judgment, how do you think i can gain such trust from all the people outside to the extend that they are willing to listen to my words? 

why can't you just slow down and listen to my justification and give me some trust in a better way? 

yes you can doubt on me. you always can. 

but can you try expressing it in a better way at least? 

try considering how will i feel when you talk to me in such way. 

try considering how reluctant am i to put any further efforts to convince you because i know my efforts will usually end up in avail. 

i may not be right in everything. but same goes to you isn't it?

there might even be times when both of us are not wrong, but we were just thinking from different aspects, different backgrounds, and different generations. 

disappointment. i say. 

and i am sorry if i caused the same feeling to you on me. 

kaiwei :(

the empty stare with floating mind and messy heart. wtf.

what i need is just a shoulder and a hug for me to cry and lean on for a moment without asking anything. just this, and i will be okay and move on. i promised.

happy anniversary

august. 

am almost a week late but still,

happy 4th year anniversary. 

kaiwei :P

幸福的理由

“爱你，是我幸福的理由。”

多么感触与怀念的一句话... 

现在，还多了一丝惆怅与惋惜...

微

人生中的四个人

有人说

大多数的人一生中会遇到四个重要的人

一，最爱你的人

二，你最爱的人

三，最适合你的人

四，陪你一起走到最后的人

而且往往这四个人，都不会是同一个人。

我想，我也会是大多数之一。

微

坚持的理由

When the same problem occurs again and again without any resolving ways, all I need is just one reason from you to keep myself moving. 只需要一个坚持下去的理由。 微

阿公，我回来了

终于结束了我三个月的韩国之旅
那一天我去到你的面前
点香
在心里默默地跟你说
“阿公，我回来啦”

此话刚说完
眼眶都红了


想说

你四个月前你期待已久的一句话
怎么到最后我只能用这样的方式跟你说

刚到韩国时一直想着回来的那一刻一定要给你和阿嫲紧紧的拥抱
怎么到最后给你的那拥抱只能在心里进行着

曾经你答应我你和阿嫲会煮好一大堆的好菜欢迎我从韩国回来
怎么到最后我得努力说服自己我一点也不在乎你承诺的那海参猪脚


曾经在韩国的街上看到适合你的东西想买下来
几秒钟后我得告诉自己已经什么都不需要买了


回来之前一直问朋友该买什么手信给阿嫲
得到的答案都不适合阿嫲 可是却有很多东西我很肯定买给你的话你一定喜欢
可是几秒钟后还是得告诉自己现在只需要买给阿嫲了


回到家看到阿嫲憔悴了很多
知道这些日子她一定过得很孤单
心里惦记着你却又不能老是挂在嘴边
心里很想念很想念你却又只能望着空无一人的家独自流泪着
心里难过得想干脆跟你一起走但在孩子面前却又只能加装着坚强
而我也只能在心里陪她难过流泪

这些这些
其实我早在三个月前就知道
只是送你离开后回到韩国的那一天起
就告诉自己我要把所有马来西亚的情绪都留在马来西亚
包括对阿嫲的担心
也包括对你的思念

所以在过去的两个月里
没有频频流泪
没有频频挂念着家里
更没有想象中的难度过

偶尔想起你时
也会告诉自己只能想一会儿就好
唯一清晰地记得你在医院的电话里隔空留给我的最后一句话
“不用担心阿公，你在韩国要玩的开心点”

三个月了
我真的有努力让自己好好享受在韩国的每一天
你一定替我觉得高兴的对吧？

想念你了
而且
必须接受从此以后都只能这样子想念着你了

你放心
我会好好珍惜能够陪伴阿嫲的日子
尽我所能陪她一起想念着你
用我无法再给你的疼爱来疼爱着她

原谅我偶尔还是无法微笑着去想念你
原谅我偶尔还是忍不住用眼泪想念你
原谅我偶尔还使会遗憾不能在孝顺你
但我答应你
一定会一直一直让自己开心


非常非常想你的大孙女，
微 :')

又想你了

感谢你让我再次感觉到你的存在

你那温柔的触碰
你那布满皱纹的皮肤
你那缓缓不急的声音
你那慈祥的眼神
你那充满关爱的一切一切

虽然只是短暂的一场梦

隐约记得在梦里我心疼地问你过得好吗？
隐约记得在梦里你回答我说只要我们开心你就过得好...

那你知不知道
其实你最疼的大孙女
很想念很想念你

微 :'(

小心翼翼

小心翼翼的思念
就是这样的吧

一直都是轻轻的
不敢太用力

哪怕一个不小心
眼泪就会控制不住了

想你了

想你了

不知道在远方的你

现在过得还好吗？

微 :)

终于在第十天 第一次一个人面对的夜晚

泪 决堤了...

心 好疼 好疼 好疼

但控制不了的泪水 又还能挽回些什么呢？

失去的 终究失去了 而且永远永远 也没办法挽回

不管我用多少泪水 多少祈祷 多少呐喊 也没办法挽回最爱的你

阿公 想念你 真的很想念你...

微 :'(

亲爱的要加油

我知道

现在的我束手无策

但我还能相信家人 相信医生 相信公公的意志力

我知道

现在的他也一样束手无策

但他一定也在努力着

努力相信雨后的晴天

我知道

现在的他一定也很希望我能呆在身边

握着他的手说

“哎哟 阿公 你又生病啊？要快点好起来哦 不然这样什么时候才会长肉啊”

但既然我没办法

他一定会希望我能好好享受这难得的机会 好好体验这难得的新环境

我知道

现在的他们虽然操心公公的情况

但同时也一定担心着我在远方无能为力的情绪

我长大了

应该懂得做我应该做的

应该学会用最正确的情绪去面对最情绪化的噩耗

应该接受世上没有完美的路

应该了解既然有选择 就一定有得也有失

应该成熟地思考 决定 再处理这伤心

曾经

你很坚强地渡过了那看似不可能的11天

现在

我相信你一样也会办得到

因为你是我们家最棒的阿公

加油！

永远爱你的大孙女，

微 :)

亲爱的谢谢你

亲爱的谢谢你

因为你 我在最需要时有双让我舒服的耳朵

因为你 我发现原来有人能够体会我的感受

因为你 我知道其实我在面对这事情不孤独

因为你 我感动我的心情有人了解有人体会

因为你 我知道自己该怎么去面对眼前的泪

与你的一席话 没有过度的安慰 也没有不实际的承诺 所以 我的心 欣然接受了

感谢我生命中有你这像哥哥般懂得我的朋友

没有跟家人谈心时的别扭

也没有跟情人谈情时的情绪化

更没有跟普通朋友谈天时的距离感

今晚 这时候 有你真好

微 :)

get well soon, my love

i'm sorry but i can't stop my tears when i hear your weak voice.

i tried to hold them back to eke out a force smile for you.

i don't know whether i made it. but it is so difficult, you knew it don't you?

uncontrollable tears keep rolling down, my cheeks were painful because of the dry weather.

but my heart is more painful.

do you know,

how much i want to be back with you when i know you are alone in dark and fear now.

do you know,

how hard it is for me to still have fun with my friends when i know you are in pain.

do you know

how painful and worrying it is when i have no idea what is your current condition.

do you know

i love you so much that i am still not ready for not having you in my life in any way, especially at this point of time when i can't be with you, hold you hands and say you have to stay strong for me.

so

please

my love

remember your promises,

you promised that you will have your bones covered with fleshes not just skins when i go back,

you promised that you will welcome me back with splendid home-cooked delicacies that you have been tempting me from the video calls all these while when i was away,

you also promised,

that you will take good care of yourself when i was not around,

that you will make sure of your good form for me to hug and hold when i am back.

be well soon, my dearest grandpa.

take extra care of yourself, my dearest grandma.

and you too, my darling family...

i love each and everyone of you with all my hearts, and i couldn't afford to lost anyone yet.

lots of loves from 4000km away,

kaiwei :)

想念你们了

想说

希望你们可以多点打电话给我

不只是因为担心你们不习惯我的遥远而日夜思念

而是

其实我也不习惯没能每天听到你们的声音

想说

我在这的生活很悠闲

资金有限也不能每天都出去吃喝玩乐

所以什么时候找我都不会打扰到我

好不容易弄到的手机

一直都处于开机状态

为的就是当你们想听听我的声音时

随时都能找到我

可是一星期过去了

怎么手机一直都还是静静的呢？

想说

这样的宁静

我会更担心 更不安

所以

常打电话给我

好吗？

真的真的

不会打扰到我

想念你们了

微 :)

열심히!

a month has passed since i last set my foot on this new beautiful ground.
yes, in just a glimpse of eyes.

i keep clicking the refresh button in my brain,

to see what have been updated, what are the new input, and what are the news feed that keep appearing on my 'wall' for the past 1 month...

hmmph...

despite the travelling to different places every weekend, everything seems to be too quiet.

my study, my mind, my thought, my new circle of friends, my new language, my endeavor, and even my shopping list!

guess it's time apply higher pressure on the paddle, for a better speed.

gosh, now i can feel the impatience of time, on how it never wait for anyone or anything.

열심히!

regards,

kaiwei :)

miss you, friends.

it is always not difficult to make new friends,
but also not easy to maintain the friendship.

mesmerizing, i am lucky to have many friends that stayed in my life for the past 21 years.
but as time goes,
some memories fade,
some friends left,
some friendships have been forgotten.

i wonder,
how many friends that have left their footprints deep in my heart?
and how many friends, that remember me as their friend, and that i had left some impact in their life?

friends, i miss you already.


loves,
kaiwei :)

ohya, and some friends are complicated.

just like he and he. :P

stay strong my love

my dear,

i know what you are going through now is the hardest time you ever had in the passed 21 years.

i could never understand the pain that you are going through right now,

and i am so sorry for not being able to be there for you and her back there in malaysia.

i so want to run over to you and give you a tight hug and to cry together with you.

but i'm sorry i couldn't.

you are such a darling friend for us all these years.

and it is painful by just looking at the grieving messages on your wall.

please promise us to stay strong my dear.

collapse and cry it out with all your heart.

but always remember to stand back up very soon, and remember that life still goes on.

it is true, she has went to heaven and to be the angel for you and your family,

and i am sure she wishes to see smiles instead of tears on your pretty face.

take care my dear.

i miss your loud voice and the contagious laughter so please, stay tough.

i love you.

remember we are here, and our hearts will always be with you.

loves,

kaiwei :'(

life is short

indeed,

the most painful thing in life is not aging, nor failure,

it's the lost of your loves one.

appreciate and cherish all moment that i can have,

with my grandpa and grandma,

dad and mum,

the two brothers,

and all other family and friends.

the last thing i would want to experience is to regret for not knowing how great it is to be able to see them, speak to them, touch them and simply to have them in front of me anytime i want.

life is short. and uncertain. i keep reminding myself on this.

i love you with all my hearts, my dear family.

loves,

kaiwei

其实不太明白

为什么

每一次

我们都是这样的结束方式

是时候停下脚步

歇一歇

用喝一杯咖啡的时间

和自己

说说话

听听心里那越来越微小的声音

晚安

来自南韩的祝福

四个月的旅程终于正式开始

希望

这四个月除了让我能够学习新的体验

也让自己有机会在一个完全陌生的地方

沉淀自己

需要沉淀的不只是人生的目标与方向

还有那心中的答案和感觉

加油！

来自南韩的祝福，

微 :)

disappointment

am i expecting too much from you?

or was it me being overconfident on you?

it is heartache to say so,

but this is really disappointing.

more and more disappointment every now and then.

had took away my trust on you.

i know it is hurt if these words were to be articulated to you in face.

but still, the truth is,

i lost trust.

well,

i see efforts, sometimes.

but somehow,

i don't always see the results that should be following after the efforts.

i wonder why is that so?

again,

disappointment is painful.

especially at this point of time.

:(