Family...

Last week, when i was deep BLUE mood, someone suggested me a meaningful 'activity. he asked me to on some soft music, close my eyes, calm my mind, and think about four most significant persons in my life. think about how i treat them in these past few years. then, start thinking what situation i would be in when these four of them suddenly dead without any augur. i haven't even get to sit in front of the computer and on any music before i broke into tears. well, it's true that part of the tears that day were out of another reason, but still, tears ran down more profusely after the thought of 'losing my loves one' slipped through my mind. tears were wetting my cheeks and pillow, yet leading me to an aghast that i couldn't bear with being apart of anyone of them forever. i don't even get to see any images of myself being in a life without them before fear and sadness conquered me.

instead of just four. many faces pop up in my mind when the words 'most significant person' are mentioned. i thought about my grandpa, grandma, dad, mum, brothers, few of my friends...

Grandpa and grandma. i lives with them when i was one year old if i'm not mistaken. but i was too baby to remember anything during that period. the strong bond between these grandparents and grand daughter just formed like that and become stronger as time passed. argh... i actually found myself speechless in saying things about my grandma and grandpa. IN A NUTSHELL, it's love.

Dad. Hmmm.. sometimes i feel that he's the greatest dad in the world because he cares about us so much and he always shows his unconditional loves to us through actions but not words. there is also sometimes that i feel he is being unfair and a bit overbearing. when his mood is below OKIE, never ever try to do a bit mistake or request something unnecessary. the percentage of getting a 'yes' is below 10%. haha. when his mood is beyond OKIE, the situation is vice versa. but of coarse, a rainbow can disappear in one second and followed by storm and thunder! >.< i have a dad who has extensive knowledges. i have a dad who can never stop working even during a holiday. i have a dad who loves eating drumstick yet never sound out just because he knows his children love it too. i have a dad who always offers himself to fetch his children to anywhere whenever he's free, and will try to make himself free if he's not. i have a dad who is adverse at wasting any stuff especially books, but never hesitate to spend the money buying books for his children. i have a dad who wish to give his children all the best things, but never spoiled them. i have a dad who hardly teach his children about what is right and what is not right, yet all his children know what is right and what is not right, mostly la. Hehe. me, as a daughter of my papa, am grateful to be his daughter. i always wanted to but never dare to say it out, that i love him. anyhow, i believe he knew it even without me telling it. ^^

Mum. i wrote her the 1st letter last 2 years. and she replied me the 1st letter last 2 years. it was mother's day if not mistaken. hehe. i'm not sure whether is tat letter the main 'contributor', my relationship with my mum actually became closer since then. we have more topics to talk together. we have more jokes to laugh together. before this, i was an introvert daughter who hardly speak out my thoughts to my parents, especially when i was facing any problems or upset moments. as i grew up, i starts to share interesting thoughts and stories that i faced in daily life with my mum. the feeling is really amazing when i actually chat with mum inside the car all the way long from house to school. sounds a bit "WHAT???!!" to those who always have endless talks with mum right? but this is really what i feel. XD so now my biggest wish is to keep up this kind of relationship with mum and improve the relationship with dad! kinda, hard, for a person like me, who only knows how to use my imagination well but lost all the courages when it comes to real actions. but i'll try! =/

Brothers. it was just within this 1 or 2 years since my 1st secret-sharing or private-chatting conversation with my elder brother. it was about the same time also since i realized that my little brother and i argue lesser and lesser compared to last time. well, after all, we are siblings right? there is always an unbreakable bond between three of us no matter how fierce or how mad we were during a fighting. gor gor went to further his studies at kota bahru, kelantan and soon will starts his career as a pilot. seriously i hates the feeling being apart from someone who has been staying under one roof with me for like...17 years, although i only starts to learn to appreciate this recently. however, of coarse deep in the bottom of my heart i feel happy and proud for him because he had succeed to achieve his childhood dream! bravo~ ^^ as for my little brother, still having a little sloth in his studies, which is the impediment to his excellent achievement, but i believes and hopes that he will also succeed to aim at his goal in his life. well, good result is important to provide one with guaranteed job, but bad result doesn't mean it is the end of one's life right? add oil add oil... =)

i don't know why and i don't know how, i starts to realize the importance of communicate with my family members since passed few years. well, sharing is caring right? =p unfortunately, i have not achieve the kind of flawless relationship with my parents yet. we do have a thin barrier between us during certain conversation such as when i'm upset or unsatisfied with them. however, anyhow, no matter what, i truthfully hope that from this second onwards, laughters and happiness will stay close between all of us, and that we can feel and appreciate the loves deep from each other's hearts before it is too late. Love you guys a lot! ^^

-kaiwei-