Lemonie你一路好走

不懂这心情叫什么

只知道

心

酸酸的

痛痛的

脑袋一直想一直想一直想

眼泪一直流一直流一直流

怎么控制不到呢？

回家了

习惯了家里那铁门总是开着

好让你能自由出入

习惯了每次小红引擎还没息

就能听到你脖子上那‘铃，铃’的声音

习惯了下车后

马上就看到那娇小玲珑的你

活泼的在篱笆后迎接我

习惯了进门后

你理所当然地四脚朝天躺在地上

期待着我摸摸你的肚子

有你无声的方式撒娇着要我们疼你

今天

没有铃声

没有你的身影

没有你的声音

没有你的撒娇

屋子里冷冷清清

咦？

我们家宝贝呢？

笼子里空空的

有没在楼上霸占着我的新床位啊？

还是在厨房顽皮地撬垃圾桶啊？

哦

对哦

你在医院

刚去看你了

带着战战兢兢的心情

深怕我会按捺不住情绪

看到你手臂上接着管子

看到你有气无力

看到你全身在抽蓄着疼痛

看到你痛苦地颤抖着呻吟

心疼地抚摸着你的额头

心疼地轻轻喊着你还没来得及认得的名字

更心疼的是我只能眼睁睁的看着你痛苦

却不知道该怎么减轻你的痛

从来

都没发觉

我对你这么在乎

就像家人一样

对

你是我们家最小的公主

不是宠物这么简单啊

心疼你痛了不能诉苦

不能投诉

不能撒娇

甚至也不能告诉我们

其实你是不是也一样希望着这样的结果

那天我回来时

你对着我吠

哥说：妹，你是陌生人，因为lemonie只对陌生人吠的

当时一直为自己申冤

心里默默承诺考完试后的四个月就终于有时间陪你了

到时一定要让你熟悉得可以认得我是家里的姐姐

没想到

没机会了

来不及了

陌生人

是你对我永远的印象

对不起

没能来得及疼你

没能来得及陪你玩

没能来得及让你认识我

如果承诺有效

我愿意当掉这次考试

换回你的活泼可爱

换回你的霸道抢位子

换回你的精力充沛

可以吗？

不可能了吧

从早上十一点收到哥的电话

十一点半我回家

十二点回到气氛沉重冷冷清清的家

一点半去看你

三点再回到家里等待着那沉重的一刻

四点半爸终于回来

四点四十三分哥在表格上签下名字

看着兽医洗手、准备药水、准备针、再打针

前前后后

不到十二小时

六颗不一样的心

那时候都有着共同的情绪吧

心疼里混杂着无数的不舍得

多少泪水

都冲不走的不舍得

妈的一句句一路好走

爸的一句句阿弥陀佛

意味着

一切

已成定局

那一刻

一支针

交易着六个人的泪水

和一只宠物的死亡

还有一滩往事只能回味的回忆

那一刻

大家都崩溃了

亲爱的Lemonie，你是第一只我一点都不害怕的狗

8910是你的出生日期

多么美丽的一天

把你从那么远的地方带回来那一天

你还是那么小的一只小家伙

好像毛茸茸的玩具一样 差不多tahniah的大小吧

短短半年的时间

你长大咯

比那时候的你大一倍有吧

为什么叫Lemonie？

弟说不能叫Honey因为那是用来叫女朋友的

不叫甜的就叫酸的咯，Lemon不错吧?

呃...

我说，Lemon听起来好单调好不顺口

亲切点，叫Lemonie好不？

好好好，就叫Lemonie吧...

你的到来

让我们家多了好多欢乐

尤其是爸爸跟哥哥

他们是多么的疼你啊

还有妈妈，弟弟，欣月和很久才回家一次的我

还记得那一次

我和欣月

说笑着说你的到来让我们两个的地位不保了

一个是哥的女人，一个是爸的小公主

想起来都好笑

呵呵

记得你喜欢跟我们争位子

记得你看到食物就突然很听话

记得你喜欢吃蜜瓜和木瓜不喜欢吃黄梨和香蕉

记得你只爱听哥哥的话

记得你喜欢跟我们玩追追

记得当你停下来了我就不能再追，因为换你追我

记得你在我弹古筝时会在旁边突然高歌一句

记得你被我轻轻吹气时会抓狂 更不用说当我用吹风筒吹你时

记得 记得 记得 你的一切一切

Lemonie你一路好走

Lemonie你下辈子也要当我们的家人哦

Lemonie我们永远缅怀你...

微

考试前夕发生了这样一件突然的事情

第一次

在大考前一天跑回家而不是在宿舍努力啃书

第一次

在大考前一天满脑子不是明天的考试而是那疼痛的失去

希望明天的考试

依然顺利

spire85

went to spire85 exhibition tonight.

a brand new exposure on events organized by people other than public university undergraduates.

well organized, at least from the view of a visitor.

yes,

all these while we are staying and of course, being protected by our own comfort zone.

go, run out of the yellow line and grasp some fresh freedom air out there.

see how 'out of the box' their choices of theme can be.

see how amazing their promotional pre-events can be.

see how this group of people from expensive private colleges who were used to be perceived as non-performing can perform in such an impressive way in front of our eyes.

bravo. i believe we can make it as well.

everyone deserve to dream for what we are dreaming for.

blah. cut the craps.

good night.

haha

kaiwei :)

nice meeting back those familiar faces again.

yeejin junyuen zhanyang the organizers

karkit soonchiat siongtat

weekiat waimun sookmian choonting yuencheng winloon

:)

tired of all the guessing, discussing, backstabbing, blackmailing.

perhaps, a halt for me from all these craps will be a good idea.

sense of relief grows stronger each day, telling myself that luckily i am here but not there.

pros and cons. give and take. yes, the same trading system still exist.

but at the very moment, i am confident that the trade i dealt was a good one.

maximizing utility, like mentioned in the economy text book.

work hard guys. to create a better future. for yourselves and for them.

i believe and i am confident, you deserve to take up the responsibility better than i do.

and of course, i am in my own right place hoping that i am doing the right thing to the right me.

kaiwei :)

emo for the whole day

somehow for no vivid reason that i can tell of

sometimes i hide my feelings

but most of the time i hope you can see what i am hiding behind

anyway, wonderful wafer that lightens up a little bit of my day :D

boring~

大坏蛋

最近

忽略你了对吧？

知道你对健康的担心

知道你对感情的挣扎

我却没办法做什么

也没努力去做点什么

今天

又知道你选择了放弃你曾经以为是永远的她

心疼你的受伤

心疼你的难过

心疼你的心疼

当然

更心疼你的失去

我不能说你的决定会不会太冲动

毕竟一星期前你仍然选择了为你们的感情做最后的坚持

毕竟我知道

你依然很在乎她 在乎你们之间的所有

我也不能说这是她的错要生气她

毕竟要达到谅解理解接受再宽容

真的不容易

更何况这是距离了一片海洋的感情

你和她

没能找到那所谓的共识

是一个遗憾

一段长远的感情

consensus 是少不了的元素

想说

没关系吧

也许

事情没有眼前看到的这样糟

也许

你回家后

她会有所改变

她会看到不一样的你们

也许

你的健康没有问题

只是你想多了啦

好多好多的未知数哦

其实我更想说

没关系吧

专心准备考试

其他你控制不了的就别理吧

天塌下来

还有我们的约定

会一直一直都存在

别忘了

再苦，也要记得微笑...

别忘了

你是我的大坏蛋哦！

小坏蛋 :)

人类最恐怖的

是脸上那虚假的面具

和那勾心斗角的心理战

转身看看四面八方

所有人

任何人

脸上的笑容都可能隐藏着不为人知的心理对话

在这样的情况下

谁

才能够算是真正的朋友？

到最后

没有人能有信心回答这个问题

也许

偶尔听听儿歌

可以找回儿时那单纯的心？

也许

距离最远的人

才是你最能信任的人

远距离的友情

远距离的爱情

远距离的亲情

远远胜过近在眼前

却又分不出真假的眼神

深深明白丽玮说的

学记的友谊很特别

因为我们没有利益冲突

这样

才能拥有最单纯的友谊

想家

公主想回家了

微

幸福

昨晚

听着耳机里的歌曲

听着窗外的雨滴声

终于

朦朦胧胧

睡着了

谢谢你

让我在熬夜的痛苦中

仍然能感受到一丝丝的

幸福

微 :)

幸运

手机失而复得

发现时

紧张的同时几乎没有抱任何希望

看到那熟悉的黑色袋袋时

那一霎那

觉得

自己真的很

幸运

微 :)

relax~

2 days ago, one whole weekend of playing crazying relaxing and idling.

2 hours ago, one whole night of laughing and crapping and listening to crapping.

these incredible moments,

they nearly make me forget that the killing date is just 2 weeks away from now.

if i were given a chance to choose again,

yes, i will still choose to spend this one whole weekend and one whole night in the same way,

although it pays with many staying up and stressful moments when job is undone.

love this feeling of freedom.

its simple just the feeling of being together.

with you, with you and with all of you.

i have a feeling,

the decision i made to stay back together with you guys will be a right choice.

hopefully,

a year later,

when i stop and look back,

i will still find it a correct decision made.

good luck to all.

and love all of you to the max.

friends. peers. mates. juniors. members. buddy.

let's have fun working together again in neeeaarrrr future.

kaiwei :)

i'm sooooooo look forward for the coming penang trip a month later!

woohoooo~

rooted pi... :P

lim xiao yan, received your sms saying you have received the card from me. haha. love letter, that's the thing i meant. i didnt expect it to reach in just one week time. pos malaysia effective and efficient! sorry for the very super duper over simple birthday card. seriously thought to handmade one to make you cry, but don't have time (excuses XD) to stop my footsteps and start doing one. in fact, don't even have time to shop for a better one (excusessss) haha. okok, i admit. i picked another more expensive one. later then i put it back on shelf. because my brother showed me the card with the theme of 'top friend', and i love this term to be put on your face. chubby face. haha.

my top friend, you will always be one. finally i am now officially drafting one birthday post for you on my blog. happy belated birthday lim xiao yan. you have the smallest value of pi-ness from the pi family (because you have been 'rooted') but keep no worries, your value of top-friendship-ness will always be in the top rated position!

i always want to tell you one thing ever since you flew to far far away uk. i miss you, and i will always do. i guarantee you didnt missed any fun of gathering although all other PIsss are back here in malaysia, because even we are all here on the same land, i met the others as rare as i get to meet you face-to-face! aikks... what a pathetic. carrietang limjuwee shayeejin, in case you read this, do something! haha.

anyway, again, happy 21st big pig day. this year, everything remains but only one single changes between us. you've got an official boyfriend! haha. hopefull he is the right one for you, and hopefully he is the last person that you have to call him 'boyfriend' in your life. never forget the past mistakes in your life, although they are not a happy memories to be reminded, because they remind you of what is right to be done right now. appreciate, and always appreciate.

take care. miss you. and i am still waiting for you to come back to celebrate my birthday together. reserve the big day for you. miss ya.... muakks....

pi forever. we said it always. and i know we meant it forever.

(btw, i haven't get ANOTHER photo of me and you from itu cheow hock khuen, so too bad, this photo again. haha)

kaiwei the pi :)

shouldn't have watch drama this morning

at this particular moment,

i hope what is in front of me is exam not bloody assignments.

commercial law is killing.

and i haven't even dare to look front towards the audit assignment upcoming next week.

can i replace all other assignments with OB assignment? haha.

bullshit.

can i marry anyone who is rich and willing to marry me now? i don't care if you are from rubbish bin or whether you will give me a honeymoon at europe or not. i simply want to get rid of these assignments and exams that are slowly screwing my brain now.

another bullshit.

can i sleep now?

oh yeah, a bigger bullshit. no you can't. com law is not done yet.

good night.

kaiwei :P

side note:

lim xiao yan, don't feel left out. i wrote you a not long not short love letter sempena your big day previously. maybe, hopefully, you will get to read it in another one week time. pray hard the words don't melt or fly away on the way reaching to you.

haha.

kaiwei :)

buddy buddy buddy, birthday wishes everywhere...

ops... just noticed, one important birthday wish that i'd missed out.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY big big buddy Siew Peng~

although you won't be reading my post here, but still, 'pretend' to give you a slice of my favourite secret recipe new york cheese cake la, wholeheartedly fully willingly...

HAPPY 24th BURBDAY and wish to see you soon!

buddy gathering la weeeeeyyyyy...

aiya, and since i am up here posting birthday post here and there already, 顺便 post another photos of my big buddy's birthday last month la.

my pretty and sweet sweet big buddy birthday celebration on 17th march... ops, the group photos of us whole buddy line is with another camera. too bad...

aiya aiya, since i am also already here posting birthday wishes and photos of my buddy here and there, 顺便 again to post the photos of small buddy birthday celebration photos 3 months back la. haha.

aiya aiya aiya, since i am blah blah blah *refer to paragraph before*... 顺便 post the photo of the birthday gift from my small buddy 4 months back la. no celebration as it was a holiday. but my sweet sweet not-so-handsome buddy bought me this! very touchy lo~ i still owe him a bday prezzie until now... XD

the cute red bear beside its home (the mug) and on top of....ops, audit text book!

small small buddy

kaiwei :)

happy birthday la harrr.... DOWN~~~

臭师父 lim chun kai...

nah... although i am really reluctant to share this slice of cake with you, because i am really wanting to keep it for myself, because i had replaced my budget for this slice of cake with the bloody manhattan chocolate mud pie with many many NUTS topped on it (although it only cost me RM3.90, which is half the price of the one showed on top), because i has been longing to eat this slice of new york cheese for many many weeks just like how noisy was i towards my daily fresh chocolate wafer...

but still...

since it's your big day and i haven't prepare and didn't plan to prepare anything else for you.

ok LARRRR...

share with you LARRRR...

erm, take the blur blur black black one behind can? then i will have the yellow one in front. ok?

alright alright, let me help you to shout out the words playing in your mind and almost coming out or even already came out from your mouth...

"DOWN!!!!"

>.<

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!

haha

kaiwei :)

mistakes + delicacies of the day

Three mistakes of the day:

1. shouldn't have wear casual or smart casual to the luncheon session with crowe horwath

2. shouldn't have order chicken katsu don without sharing during the luncheon session

3. shouldn't have order manhattan mud pie during dinner - miss my new york cheese!

a decision can be made in just one second, we might not even have enough time to think of the consequences. but here is what happen, we will have to bear with the consequences of every single decision made by ourselves, whether it is good or bad. sobs, i still miss my new york cheese~

and the chocolate + strawberry wafer

and one plate of nice char keow teow...!!!

any simple dishes as these, can makes up my day

yummmmmy~ *saliva dripping*

kaiwei :)

其实

更希望

跟你是可以互相提醒对方错误的知己

想给你提醒时

却顾虑着你的感受

想给你劝告时

却顾虑着你的自尊

想给你意见时

却顾虑着你的好胜心

可不可能

有那么一天

我们真的是坦诚相对的

知己？

微 :)

也许

再亲密的两个人

也有不能摊开来说的话题

可是我依然奢侈地希望着

我和你之间

没有这层隔膜

可能吗？

decision made...

life is always about choices to be made.

and when it comes to choices to be made,

something annoying pops up...

GIVE AND TAKE, again.

duhhhhhh....

give give give, take take take.

i hope they worth. i seriously hope they do.

regret, is the last thing i wish to hear from the voices beneath my heart one day later.

well, perhaps, i should convince myself with a thing.

as long as i put my full commitment in committing a commitment,

regret will never comes to me.

yes, i do believe this. just like how i believe life is all about choices to be made.

haha

good luck to myself on the decisions made.

on masc. as well as on famine 30.

the road not taken. i shall cherish the choices made, with all efforts i could, as at least i made the choice, and i knew they will be the right-est choice i can make.

kaiwei :)

let's make it happen together, shall we?

吊价的人，讨厌

吊价的猪，更讨厌

讨价的猪少，最讨厌！

没有本公主允许

谁准你有公主才能有的态度？

哈哈

微 :)

阿公阿嫲你们要健康啊

阿公最近身体不好

很容易就累

劳动一点点也会喘气

感觉他不舒服时 好像会呼吸困难

担心

每次打电话回去 主要是希望能听听阿公和阿嫲的声音

因为如果他们不舒服 听声音比较容易察觉

最近的通话

常常会听到阿公疲累的声音

好像没力气说话

仔细再听 明显在气喘

最怕这种感觉

在电话另一端的我

担心

却又无助

平时要读书不能时刻陪着他们的我

到底能为他做什么呢？

劝他看医生？

但劝多了也知道没什么效

他们老人家只会“哦，噢，噢..”不要我们担心

逼他看医生？

他们不愿意，也没办法

他们总是说

“人老了是这样的啦，很多病痛开始找上门，看医生也一样的”

那我想

我只能

尽量多回家陪陪他们

陪他们聊天

陪他们看戏

陪他们吃饭

其实

很怕每一次通话

都会听到声音越来越脆弱的阿公

恨怕每一次回家

都会看到健康越来越下滑的阿公

希望

真的真的努力祈祷

阿公赶快好起来

或至少

他自己会愿意去医院做个身体检查

阿嫲身体保持现在这样每什么问题

至少吃得下，胃口好

好想念家里的他们

好想念我最爱的阿公阿嫲

突然想起，我好像很久没跟他们拍照了

微 :)

一直记得

阿公阿嫲对我这大孙女的心愿：

1）我毕业那天，看到戴四方帽的我，为我觉得光荣骄傲

2）阿公能有机会带我回中国的家乡走走看看，或去一趟旅行也好

2）有一天我终于能够带男朋友回家让他们看看，跟他们说：阿公阿嫲这是我的男朋友

3）我结婚那天，亲眼见证我的幸福，看着我牵着身边那会照顾我一辈子的男人

第一个心愿：两年后会实现，我急也急不来

第二个心愿：原本今年假期说好了要陪阿公去台湾，但就是他最近那不稳定的身体状况，被逼暂时取消

第三个心愿：最能控制却也最不能控制的决定，什么时候真的有那么一天，我有男朋友了，我会马上实现这一项

第四个心愿：好遥远的计划... :P

climax 后的空虚

玩够够

笑够够

吃够够

唱够够

浪费钱也够够

回来面对这没人的四面墙

就知道

该回来现实了

面对着deadline一天天地逼近

就知道

不管玩得够不够

都该回来现实了

心中

没有冲劲

只有空虚

和一万个不愿意

好累

好懒

好想继续颓废

唉

不用再做垂死的挣扎了

今晚

加油吧

微